Power of Crying
COURTESY OF NATIONAL POST, PHOTO BY PERRY MAH/POSTMEDIA NETWORK.
Wayne Gretzky, one of the greatest professional hockey players of all time, cried during the 1988 news conference when it was announced he was being traded from Edmonton to Los Angeles – “I promised Mess (Mark Messier) I wouldn’t do this” as he teared up.
We also have seen other high-profile athletes cry in public – from NBA phenom Lebron James to Brent Favre from NFL’s Green Bay Packers. Even high-profile politicians have openly expressed tears in public with mostly positive perceptions.
However, for the everyday man the expectations seem different. When was the last time you cried in public (ignoring extremely emotional and more private events such as funerals)? And in the workplace it is even more rare to witness a guy colleague shed tears during a meeting?
Toxic Masculinity and Crying
The ongoing theme around Toxic Masculinity applies here. Crying is still perceived by many as a sign of weakness and and view it as unprofessional.
However, crying in public is becoming increasingly more acceptable in terms of societal norms. In fact we are just reverting back to times when, in the 18th century for example, it was almost expected that upper-class men would cry in public. But still, the notion of being stoic is still an issue among most of us men primarily due to cultural conditioning.
So Should I Cry?
It’s less about if you should cry in public, but generally if you should cry at all. We all have different coping mechanisms, but there are times when we have the natural inclination to cry but we hold back, even in private. Disregarding the social impacts of crying (that’s for another article), let’s explore why crying can be beneficial for you:
Crying Releases Endorphins
There is some preliminary research that shows that emotional tears contain stress hormones and other toxins that may help reduce stress. There is also extensive scientific evidence that crying (preferably for longer periods of time) releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. Endorphins are those feel-good chemicals which can help create a sense of calm and well-being.
Crying Improves Mood
When you bawl your eyes out (sobbing), you typically take in short cool breaths of air in, and this cooler air can help regulate your body temperature and brain. A cooler brain results in a better mood. So next time you think you may cry and are in a bad mood – sob like a crying baby and don’t hold back – it may just make you feel a lot better after.
Crying Helps Recover from Grief
Crying can help to process and recover from grief. The stage of grief that applies here is sorrow, and by crying at the loss of a loved one or other tragic event can help you cope and move on. But remember, we all grieve in different ways, so the lack of crying while grieving does not always negate the process.
Crying Often Encourages Support
If crying is done in public, or even privately with a friend, colleague, or family member – it sends a signal to them that you may be in need of support. Support is the final foundational element of HIMbody’s SAND GEMS approach, and thus if you need support while dealing with a difficult situation, crying can help communicate to others of this need.
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